The weekend turned out very low key, but not entirely uneventful.
Saturday was a deluge of rain. I read upstairs for most of the day, still in a bit of a funk. Later, Andy and I came together to discuss what happened on Friday – like really talk, not just blow things under the rug. So much of what I’m working my way through is rooted in fear – is this going to work…how’s my taco dose,…are my kidneys OK….wow, that medical bill was really high..etc. And I think, to a certain extent, I want to be active and DO things similar to what I did pre-transplant, in hopes that I can convince myself that everything is going to be OK. Like, if I can accomplish what I did before, that all will be well. It’s not silly, per se, I just need to remind myself that I’m 5+ months post Stem Cell Transplant and that my body is different, without adding judgement.
It was good to put a voice to these fears, to let them out. And I’m lucky to have someone who loves me and listens.
Later, we went to dinner at Carrabas just to get out of the house. It’s so tough with COVID and finding that balance. Thankfully the restaurant wasn’t busy due to the downpour and the lateness of the hour; I just enjoyed Andy’s company. Later it was all about hoisting a pool table from upright to its side. Physics are cool, what can I say. I did my best to not be in the way and to not get squished – not in that order. Thankfully, it went off without a hitch.
Sunday was promising with a beautifully foggy morning. Andy and I drove to East Asheville to pick up our new couch set. Loading was fine – it was in the unloading that things went awry. For some silly reason, I was wearing flip flops and compression socks. I’m not really sure what I banged my foot against – likely a pool table leg – by my flip flop went one way and my foot the other. Unfortunately, the knuckle of my left big toe took the brunt of the twist. At first I “walked it off”, but then walking quickly became impossible. So I went to Urgent Care, suspecting it was broken. Andy offered to join me but I insisted that he not.
X-rays confirmed that it wasn’t broken, more likely deeply bruised, twisted or even the joint dislocated and then popped back into place. Sorry if that’s a rough sentence to read; I don’t particularly feel like going over it again and editing, as my hands get sweaty just thinking about all that and my toe. I took the clinician’s advice and did a bit of easy walking – right into World Market where I purchased a few decorative pillows for the couch. “Sympathy Pillows”. And then into Ingles, where a piece of sheet cake and fruit were on the docket. The rest of the afternoon was spent with my leg propped up, frozen peas keeping my toe chilled and eating junk food while watching Jumanji 2, followed by 1. I know, I know – out of order, but who cares?
Physically, aside from the toe, my body is OK. Skin is dry, although I’m not sure “dry” is the right word for what I’m feeling. My facial skin in particular feels tight and sensitive, as though bright sun or a cold wind would really hurt. My face felt better when I was applying hydrocortisone daily, but that’s not something I want long-term for my body. I’ll be curious about what the NIH Dermatology folks say when I head up next week for my 6-month post-transplant visit. But that’s another post.
That’s all I got! Except for Monster, because who doesn’t love this cat? (Aside from the other kitties in the house).