Day -1, Monday

Tomorrow!

The day has arrived, well, almost arrived and I’m still sorta just taking it in. Today involved lots of walking on the 7th floor, listening to random music while letting my mind drift, a moving meditation, if you will. Additionally, I had my standard doctor check-ins; we are pretty much just managing the side effects of chemo (GI discomfort, general weakness, brain fog, loss of appetite). I washed my laundry, folded it, too. Apparently this aspect of chemo is good for me. I also tried some of the services the NIH has to offer – did a guided relaxation and set up an appointment with Art Therapy for Thursday. Mid-afternoon, a very wonderful package arrived from my parents; the drab hospital room is now decked out with colorful lights twinkling in the windows. It was a good day!

I did want to make an abrupt pivot and comment on the brain fog, or “Chemo Brain” as my Team calls it. I’ve been reassured that it’s not permanent, and that over time, the affects (effects? OK – don’t knock me on that one. Does anyone really know which is what?) …..the affects will diminish. Personally, I can tell a difference. My tone isn’t as sharp as I like, and humor is awkward and ungainly, like my timing is just off. Putting together thoughts takes more concentration than it should, and it just feels like a long, tedious process that I end up getting wrong anyway.

Texting with my folks, Lucy and Andy earlier today, I wrote the following. It’s OK to laugh…trust me, I already have:

“This is what the email looks like. I figured that tomorrow you guys could join in with Lucy, and maybe she could show you how she Zooms and show you what she’s learned from zooming with her siblings.”

Me, after 4 days of intense chemo.

I mean…WTF?

Well, we can’t be on all the time, eh?

With that last bit, I’m off. I’ve completed my night-time tasks, the biggie being washing my hair. Showering is not the easiest thing to do when one has a Central Line.

But I’ve got an important date tomorrow and while I’ve still got it, I’d like my hair to look reasonable. Other night time things involve multiple mouth rinses and now that I’ve un-taped myself, wiping my Central Line area with Chlorhexadine cloth wipes to help stave off infections as my neutrophil counts are now officially below the 1200 mark. I could keep going, but for all of our sakes, I won’t.

Thank you all for the kind comments and words of encouragement. They mean the world to me. xoxo

Goodnight!